Recently, something happened which made me feel like I’ve been dealt a lesson in how to face something I’ve shoved under the carpet because I didn’t want to deal with it… only to have it come back and bite me when I least expected it!
I suppose this is something we all face at one point or another: how to overcome our challenges. In fact, a lot of people who come for a session are seeking help in this area. So this time, I’ve used myself as a case study. I’ll describe what I did to address it. Please bear with me, it’s long!
Facing the Music
My issue is… cooking. I’ve just never been fond of it. Standing for long periods of time in the kitchen washing, cutting, boiling, frying, baking, waiting, cleaning. All that effort for a meal that gets polished off in less than 30 minutes. And I have to do it all over again a few hours later??
Then there’s the unavoidable eventuality of food running out so I have to go food shopping – again. Which means I have to think about what to eat and how many meals to prepare.
Honestly, this whole cooking business is a real pain in the neck and I don’t know how everybody else manages to do it so well.
Until now I evaded this responsibility by taking advantage of employing a full time helper since moving to Singapore. This is a housewife’s dream come true: have somebody else do the thing you like least! Woo hoo! (Now you know my secret.)
But recently, we were prescribed a meal protocol with very specific requirements for a specific goal. The only way I could think of making this happen was to stop passing the responsibility onto somebody else and start cooking, by myself, for real.
So, time to face the music.
What's the real issue
I had to muster every ounce of self discipline I had to get myself to do this. I even asked God, the angels and the Universe for backup because I really didn’t feel up to it.
Why? I realized it’s because of fear. Fear of what, exactly? Stepping up. Getting in there and getting my hands dirty, so to speak. Using ingredients and methods I’m not familiar with. The possibility of failure. Getting negative feedback. Not getting recognition for my efforts.
This is about cooking, mind you. But could it also have something to do with the way I approached life…? Absolutely. Cooking is really just the tip of the iceberg.
Now we know what my real problem is. It’s time to put the tools I have to good use.
The shortest route to change
Choice Theory psychology taught me that when we’re trying to change our ways, there are essentially 2 ways to do it: change our thoughts or change our actions.
Actually, the shortest route to change is to take action first. Not, change the way we think about it and then act. There is some truth in “fake it until you make it”.
It’s said that it takes approximately 3 weeks of repeated action for new behaviors to get hardwired into our brains. Once the neural pathways are created, the behaviors become habitual and they get easier (i.e. take less mental effort) to do them.
So that’s what I did: just do it.
Clearing the obstacles
Meanwhile, I used the Body Code and tested myself for when and where my cooking fears originated. That led to some interesting results!
I found a “Living Life” wall inherited from a parent, which blocked me from fully living my life. A female ancestor 10 generations ago was still exerting her influence through me. She wanted to be thanked for all the hard work she put in for her family to save them from starvation. Some “viral” thoughts about being a housewife were present, which I had absorbed from the collective consciousness.
I also checked for negative beliefs, limiting beliefs, negative programs or idea allergies to cooking. Hidden issues that cooking represented. And what other resistance, doubt, fear, blockage, danger or threat I may be perceiving.
This might sound like it took only one sitting to dig these up and clear them. The reality is, I spent many nights working on this because the subconscious reveals only so much at one time.
What am I really doing
Something else I noticed was how physically taxing it was for me to do the cooking. My mother, mother in law and helper do it every day without fail and they never complain how tired it made them. Why was it so tiring for me?
I realized it was due to the way I was using my time and energy. This discovery was a bit of a shock. Because in my mind, I thought I was doing a heroic job, juggling all my responsibilities plus my distaste for cooking. But what I was actually doing was misusing my energy and playing the victim game.
Somewhere in the back of my mind, I have an image of how I want my family to be. I also have an image of how I want to be, too. Those pictures represent my true needs of love and belonging, empowerment, freedom, fun and survival/security (according to Choice Theory). Unconsciously, I strive to fulfill these pictures so I can be happy with my life.
But whenever my negative beliefs or negative perceptions get in the way of achieving those images, I automatically open up my suitcase of behaviors and start doing things like: “give up”, “settle for less”, “be busy but not productive”, “get mentally drained and shut down”, “get irritated and frustrated and take it out on somebody” or “go all out and burn out”.
Are these behaviors effective? No. Do they get me what I want? No. They sabotage me from overcoming my cooking challenge. This is not what I want.
Clearing more baggage
Now that I became aware of my real behavior, I turned again to the Body Code to clear the underlying baggage that made me act this way.
Oho, baggage did I have! I had walls, lots of them. Misalignments in the body’s systems. Soul trauma. No will to live and will to die energy. Toxins and pathogens. Disconnections. Entity attachments. Negative emotions. Trauma energies. The list goes on and on.
Occasionally, I used other techniques to supplement the work I was doing. Such as installing frequencies to harmonize my energies. Using clearing statements from Access Consciousness. Placing myself in a Full Court of Atonement with food so I could make peace with it.
Thanks to all the self rehab, I’m finding satisfaction in the act of cooking food!
Before, cooking was a task that was just plain tortuous. So the quicker I got it out of the way, the better. Now it’s become part of my daily routine.
If I find myself getting tired, I don’t start getting resentful. Instead I think about where to conserve energy so I can create more energy.
Since we need these meals for nourishment, not just for fuel, I treat my food with more care. Before, I treated food carelessly, almost like pet food for humans (which makes me cringe now that I think about it).
I’m beginning to see cooking as something which adds to my experience. Not as a tiresome task that takes away my time. I do have my days, but it feels good to be able to connect with cooking in a much more positive way!
A caveat about the subconscious
I’m going to add a caveat here. My feelings towards cooking have changed, but have I become a talented cook overnight? At the time of this writing, not yet.
Why not? Because what I’ve specifically done was clear my resistance to cooking. Beyond that is another line of inquiry waiting to be explored.
If this sounds like a letdown, do understand that I’m only bringing it up to clarify a subtle but distinct point.
When it comes to working with the subconscious, we literally get what we ask for.
For example, deep inside we might have specific goals like “I want to achieve X at school/work” or “I want to become confident in Y so I can perform better” or “I want my (name of body part) to heal so I can be active”.
But let’s say we summarized our goals in broad terms like “be successful” or “have good health”. The subconscious will give us answers that may benefit us in a general way, but not targeted toward the true goal we’re after.
If what we want and what we’re clearing aren’t the same thing, it naturally follows that we don’t see the desired results… until we ask for it.
Alignment is key
That could explain why some experience change quickly while some don’t. I do find that some individuals are poised for change while others need more time and help to get into alignment.
If change is a long time in coming, it helps to remember that there’s a lot to be learned from the frustration itself. It’s a signal that maybe what you’re doing now isn’t working, so what can be done differently?
As you ponder this question, you may need to open your mind some more and be more courageous or organized. When enough obstacles have been removed and alignment is achieved, amazing things do happen!
So this is it! I hope you enjoyed the journey so far. If you find yourself in a situation where you have to face your own music, please remember: there are gifts waiting just for you. Hang in there, you can do it!
And if you ever need a helping hand, you know where to find me♡
What I’ve described here may not be appropriate for those who are struggling with more serious mental health conditions. In such cases, I would strongly urge them or their caregivers to seek the appropriate medical interventions first. Any energy work can then be used as a good complement to support this.
I also want to say a word of thanks to the all practitioners and clients who gave me new insights into how to approach the problems we face. I am so thankful for the all invaluable learning I gained though you!